Med Beats

This is an incomplete and incoherent version of a Med Revue work in progress which will be performed by UNE med kids later this year (if I have anything to do with it). Read it as a rap. Or maybe as Dr Seuss. In it, a surgeon is examining the knowledge of a few interns.  

But do you know the location of the epiphysis? Do you know what to do during a surgical crisis? Do you know if IGF-beta is Diprotic? And that iodide forms an acid most iodic? But what are implications of trichotillomania And how to examine the anatomy of the crania I don’t think I ever will explain to ya The amount that I hate ya.

If I ask to hear some ethics will you read me some Hume? Have you ever identified the round ligament of the womb? Do you know the time to take a patient’s serologies? Can you tell me the whole textbook of gastroenterology? Was Parkinson’s ever treated by experimental ablation? Will lumbar puncture cause pneumodeflation? Does the current knowledge yield cures to pathologies? If I say the names of disease will you give me aetiologies?

You can’t really be telling me that you know …the right time and dose of adrenaline? Why I whistle out my bum when I put a feather in? …the foundational tenents of modern medicine? … the sweet, sweet taste of pethidine?

- Christoff

Letters to the Editors - May 2013

A Word with Judd - May 2013