GNSAD - December 2013

GNSAD - December 2013



Dear GNSAD, 

In light of the policy of the incoming Government, I have decided, as a woman, to quit my degree and focus on settling down and having babies. Leaving education is the easy part, but I have been brainwashed by feminists, and now I don’t know how to find a husband. Where should I go to meet one? I am not good at cooking, but I like to keep the house tidy and look good in 50s fashion. Perhaps I could go to finishing school? Am I too old for a debutante ball?

Yours Femininely, Miss O. Gyny

Hmmm, interesting, NOT! I’m sick of you totally gross humans and your groin grinding, but I guess here I am answering another question about it. You are in fact too young for a debutante ball - anyone born after 1936 is too young for a debutante. I can’t eve believe that’s still a thing. Since you seem happy to focus on the kind of outcomes you want and not the kind of person you want to let stick their uncovered genitals inside you, why don’t you just make up a to-the-point personals add - try: “Hello I need a person with viable sperms to impregnate me.” Stick it up everywhere people with sperm hang out (supermarket, bus stops, sperm banks). Before you know it, you’ll have your pick of the fertile crop! Good-luck and remember to check it for spots!



*Editor’s note: We apologise for the GNSAD’s somewhat harsh tone. We’re still rebuilding him, and those pesky Cleo and Cosmopolitan files are still causing trouble; apparently they don’t mix well with the ‘Cynicism.exe’ file we added the other day.


A Word With Judd - December 2013

Looking for a Break