How I Would Redo My Fresher Year; From the Perspective of a Slightly Disgruntled College Kid

By Katie Host Katie studies Psychology, and is the kind of girl who uses nail polish remover wipes on her face, and only realises after seeing a friend use them on their toes two weeks later.

Now that the New Year is off to a roaring start and all the fresh-faced, little first years are just beginning to recover from their O-week hangovers, it’s bringing back a lot of hazy memories from last year when I was one of those nauseous little freshers. Now that 2013 has come and gone with, only one unjust $55 noise complaint, countless packets of noodles consumed and maybe one or two (who’s counting?) failed classes, I deemed it my duty to reflect on how my first year of college went so I could possibly, hopefully share some wisdom of how you could do it better.

That’s not to say that my first year was particularly horrible or anything, but if you happen to be like me and suffer from an involuntary Daria-like attitude to most situations, then college might be a bit of a struggle for you. But not to worry! Here are a few helpful tips that might ease you through the rest of the year. So pay attention and good luck!

1- Don’t be intimidated. You belong there just as much as anyone else—even if they have been there six years and know every resident and staff by name. Being one of the newbies can be very daunting and sometimes the oldies don’t make it any easier. Just relax and make college feel like your home—because it is for the next… however long you can handle it.

2 - The best time to do your laundry is very late at night. And I’m not talking 11pm late at night, I’m talking 2am late at night. Those tiny rooms can get pretty packed with a lot of frantic people trying to get their clothes clean, so the only guaranteed time is late. Yes, you may develop a slight case of hypothermia on the walk there but it beats being out of clean underwear for two days. Trust me.

3 - Do not take your phones to class! Because… well, isn’t it obvious? It will distract you. You don’t need to see your friend’s lunch on Instagram right now and your lecturer doesn’t need to see a big, white/black/dimontied rectangle in front of your face (seriously though, you guys aren’t even coy about it, put it in your lap or something c’mon), it’ll hurt their feelings and it’s just plain rude. If you’re going to haul-ass all the way up that hill for class, you may as well pay attention.

4 - Never waltz into the dining room at 6:20 expecting to get a chicken schnitzel. You’re going to be having the mystery stir-fry, accept it. There are a lot of hungry, hungry hippos hiding a second schnitty underneath their vegies and the early birds really do get the worms! So just get used to eating dinner at 5:30 like an 80-year-old. It’s the safest way.

5 - Call your folks! After you settle in and get your routine down-pat, your home-life can often fall to the wayside. But your family will be missing you and wanting updates, so just call your freaking mum! Or dad. Or weird, smelly aunt. Whoever. Trust me, it will make their day and it will make you feel pretty great too. Win, win.

So there it is guys and gals. If you sift through all the pointless references and meaningless add-ins, you might find one or two pearls of wisdom under there. But aside from all that; just chill out and have fun. This is definitely the last point of your life where you will be in this kind of extraordinary setting—just a bunch of kids together ready to have a good time and make some memories—so live it up. If you’re a fresher, just know that everything will work out and this could be the place that you have the best times of your life. And if you’re a returner, never forget how special it is to be able to live with 200 of your bestest friends at such a young, carefree age. Don’t take any moment for granted, the lot of you!

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