Traditional Animal Products Rant

Traditional Animal Products Rant

The use of an animal product for human purposes is nothing new. For millennia, we have used animals for clothing, tools, food and medicine. But in modern times, the collection of certain animal products has become unsustainable due to overpopulation. This would not be an issue if humans only got their animal products from sustainable sources such as domesticated species, however there is still a significant number of people, mainly in developing nations, who want traditional products, for consumption as a delicacy or medicinal uses. What many of these people don’t understand yet is that many of these exotic animal products, don’t actually do a fucking thing other than cost a lot.

One if the more commonly believed uses of an animal products is in Asia, where the rhino's horn is used as an aphrodisiac or impotence treatment. There are many reasons why this does not work. First of all a rhino’s horn is made of keratin, the same fucking material in your hair and nails.

So unless you have a toenail fetish, a rhino's horn is not going to do anything for you.

Due to its demand, the horn is highly valued. Most species of rhino are highly endangered, with the northern white rhino requiring 24/7 armed guards so that poachers won't kill it.

How the fuck did rhinos become a symbol of libido? How the fuck did anyone convince people that a 2-toned beast is the key to fertility? Rhinos only breed once every couple of years, so If you want an animal that is a symbol of fertility, then go eat a rabbit's dick.

Of all the exotic animal dishes that have been produced, one of the most harmful is shark fin soup. Shark fin soup is exactly what it sounds like, it is soup with shark fins in it. The problem is that in order to get shark's fins, you need to cut them off a shark, and this is done en masse. It is difficult to determine the number of sharks killed per year for their fins, but it is estimated to be between 100 and 200 million.

That’s a fuck tonne of sharks

This has a significant impact on ecosystems due to a large number of sharks being at the top of the food chain.

Quick lesson on ecosystems - if you kill the top predator, then everything that it eats grows in numbers and those then eat a heck of a lot, run out of food and die. The chain of events continues, resulting in ecosystem collapse. Oh hey look, half of everything is dead all because some people decided they wanted an overrated soup. I stress that overrated part because shark fins do not contribute at Fucking all to the flavour. Shark fins are nearly completely fucking flavourless.

But what i think annoys me the most is how cruel and wasteful it is. When boats go shark finning, they don’t harvest the entire shark, they just cut off the fins and dump the shark back in the ocean.

Of all the animal products, the most interesting has to be bear bile. Bear bile, unlike everything else, actually fucking does something useful. Bear bile contains ursodeoxycholic acid, which can be used to treat liver and gall bladder conditions. So, by extension, bear bile is used to treat everything from bruising, sore throats, kidney stones, to improve eye sight, as a toothpaste, as eyedrops and I can only presume to resurrect your dead cat.

Disclaimer, bear bile will not do any of these fucking things, especially not bring back poor Tibbers.

But do not think that in these cases, the use of bear bile is harmless. There is of course, no national authority regulating the quality of bear bile. So, often people who use it will contact salmonella. However, my empathy in humans is limited and i care more for the bears.

Also one final point, please refrain from purchasing products from endangered species. I hope that should I have children, I will never have to tell them that they can never see a rhino because some jackass wanted an erection.

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