Pocket Power: A Call for Equality

Pocket Power: A Call for Equality

Grace wants the power of pockets equally distributed among the masses, regardless of which section we buy them from.

A lack of pockets, absurdly undersized pockets or worse yet, fake pockets, are the bane of every woman’s existence. How can we ever hope to achieve equality when one gender is forced to carry an over-sized, over-priced trash bag so that they can carry necessities, whilst the other sex has pockets that are big enough to fit your best mate’s cousin?

Of course, the solution is obvious: force everyone to buy black holes, aka handbags, in order to do necessary things. Like store a wallet, keys and phone so that you can pay for your usual half-strength-soy-hazelnut-latte. You know, the simple things in life.

The size of women’s pockets and the general lack of them has been a life-long battle for most purveyors of women’s clothing. How are people supposed to fit anything in their front jean “pocket” when it’s the size of a toothpick? Forget using the slightly roomier back pocket if you don’t want your phone shattered yet again, or on a one way trip down dunny lane. Worst of all, if you mention to someone who doesn’t buy women’s clothing your excitement over finding a pair jeans that can fit both your keys and phone, the most common response will be “So?” and a slightly confused look.

This is not to say that men’s clothing is not also oppressive in its nature. The lack of variety that men enjoy in regards to colour, style and general aesthetic is ridiculous. If I have to see yet another guy wearing a checked shirt plus faded denim jeans and R.M.Williams boots, I may lose the little self-control I still have left and have a full blown meltdown.

So please, for the sake of my nerves, stop pocket inequality in 2018.

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